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怎么对付爱抱怨的同事?

2014-07-07    来源:向Anne提问    【      美国外教 在线口语培训

研究表明,连续暴露于负面情绪不仅仅会拖累工作,还会对大脑造成损害。下面这些好办法可以帮助你保护自己。

The boss doesn't understand how tough this project is going to be. These deadlines are totally unrealistic. This customer is getting on my last nerve. What, we're supposed to work late again? Those idiots in IT (or HR, or fill in the blank) have really screwed up this time. Why can't anybody around here follow through on a simple request?
老板根本不知道这个项目有多难。最后期限太不现实了。客户快把我逼疯了。什么,又要加班吗?信息技术部(或者人力资源部)的蠢货又坏事了。为何没人搭理这么简单的请求呢?

If the background buzz in your office sounds something like this, you've got plenty of company. About 70% of Americans say they work with someone who's always griping, according to a new poll of 1,060 employed adults by WiFi advertising network Cloud Nine Media. Of that group, 67% admit that being around nonstop complainers sometimes puts a damper on their own productivity.
如果你的办公室里总是有这样烦人的喋喋不休,别着急,不是只有你这么倒霉。根据无线网络广告公司Cloud Nine Media对1,060名成年员工的最新调查,约70%的美国人说,同事中有人总是发牢骚。其中67%的人承认他人不停的抱怨会影响自己的工作效率。

And no wonder. Recent advances in neuroscience have turned up some intriguing insights into how a steady barrage of negative thoughts can affect the human brain. Researchers have long known that our gray matter is surprisingly plastic and is quick to begin forming new patterns. Strengthening synaptic connections through repetition, for instance, builds the capacity to recall and retain information.
这一点不足为奇。神经科学的最新进展让人们对持续的负面想法如何影响大脑有了更深的了解。研究者早就知道大脑灰质极具可塑性,能迅速开始形成新的模式。比如,通过重复可以加强突触联系,从而建立起回忆、保留信息的能力。

Now, studies using MRIs and other tools have taken that one step further. "Negative words stimulate the areas of the brain associated with perceptions and cognitive functioning," notes serial entrepreneur and career coach Trevor Blake. "It's clear that constant exposure to complaints will reinforce negative thinking, and your behavior is likely to change to fit those negative perceptions."
现在,使用核磁共振和其它工具的最新研究再次向前推进了一步。“负面言论会刺激与感觉和认知功能相关的大脑部位,”连续创业家和职场批培训师特雷弗•布莱克指出。“很明显,持续暴露于抱怨将会加强消极思维,而人的行为也会产生适应那些负面感知的变化。”

Consider one of the recent studies Blake cites in his new book, Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life. Robert Sapolsky, a professor of neurology and neuroendocrinology at Stanford University's School of Medicine, has done extensive research on the effect of stress on the hippocampus, which makes connections among other parts of the brain, and is also one of the few regions able to produce new neurons.
布莱克的新书《简单三步:事业和生活成功之路》(Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life)中提到了一些最新的研究成果,其中之一由斯坦福大学(Stanford University)医学院的神经学和神经内分泌学教授罗伯特•萨波尔斯基完成。他广泛研究了压力对海马体的影响,而海马体能够连接大脑的其它部位,也是为数不多能产生新的神经元的部位之一。

Unfortunately, the hippocampus is also highly sensitive to negative stimuli. Sapolsky found that exposure to a stressor -- such as listening to someone spread a nasty rumor at work -- for more than 30 minutes leads to elevated cortisol levels that hamper synaptic connections and speed up cell death. Over time, Blake writes, repeated bouts of negativity will cause the hippocampus to shrink, resulting in "declines in cognitive function, including the ability to retain information and adapt to new situations."
不幸的是,海马体也对负面刺激高度敏感。萨波尔斯基发现暴露于应激源超过30分钟,比如倾听某人在办公室散布恶意流言,就会导致皮质醇水平升高,从而阻断突触联系、加速细胞死亡。布莱克写道,久而久之,反复的负面情绪袭击就会引起海马体萎缩,导致“认知功能的减退,包括保留信息和适应新环境的能力。”

Who needs that? Luckily, the brain can also be trained to form positive patterns, instead of merely reacting to stressors. Blake offers these 4 tips for minimizing negativity:
谁想变成那样呢?幸运的是,大脑也可以通过培训形成积极的模式,而不仅仅是对应激源做出本能反应。布莱克给出了四个消除负面影响的小窍门:

1.Self-awareness.Complaining can be contagious, so if you find yourself falling into the same mental habits as the malcontents around you, stop yourself. "When a negative thought pops into your mind, immediately revise it. Instead of telling yourself, 'That's a nice shirt, but I can't afford it,' change the message to, 'That will look great with my black pants when I can afford it,'" Blake says. By doing this, you're fostering "the process of neurogenesis -- creating and reinforcing pathways in your brain that lead to positive behaviors."
1. 保持清醒。抱怨具有传染性,如果你发现自己陷入和周围人相同的负面思维惯性,赶快停止吧。布莱克说:“每当负面想法从脑海中浮现,立刻作出改变。如果你想:‘那件衬衣不错,可是我没钱买。’这时不妨换个想法:‘等我有钱了就把它买下来,它和我的黑裤子简直是绝配。’”这样就能促进“神经发生的过程,在大脑中创造、加强导致积极行为的路径。”

Of course, he adds, everyone complains sometimes: "Your favorite team loses. Your computer crashes. Deadlines pile up. It's human to vent now and then. But the less frequently you complain, the more time will pass between lapses into negativity. This is how rewiring the brain works."
他补充说,每个人当然都会抱怨,“钟爱的球队输了。电脑死机了。最后期限接踵而来。是个人都会时不时地抱怨。但是抱怨的次数越少,负面情绪之间的间隔就越长。这样就能整理好自己的思维方式。”

2.Distance yourself.Whenever possible, Blake advises, escape from negative conversations. "Excuse yourself and go somewhere quiet, ideally somewhere outdoors in the fresh air," he suggests. "Think of something pleasant before returning. You have to take this seriously, because negative people can and will pull you into the quicksand."
2. 敬而远之。布莱克建议,只要可能,就应该远离负面对话。“找个借口离开,到某个安静的去处,最好是有新鲜空气的室外,”他建议说。“回去之前想想愉快的事情。你得把这个当回事,因为负面人物能够、而且一定会让你陷入消极思维之中。”

3.Don't try to convert complainers."If you find yourself trapped in a toxic group of complainers in a meeting or at a social event, simply choose silence," says Blake. "Let their words bounce off you while you think of something else."
3. 和平共处。“如果你发现自己在会议或是社交场合陷入一群可怕的抱怨者当中,请保持沉默,”布莱克说。“想想别的事,把他们的话当耳边风。”

Attempting to stop the griping may just alienate the group and make you a target, he adds, but you can redirect the discussion in your own mind: "If someone says, 'I hate Mondays, weekends are too short,' try countering that by thinking, 'I'm glad I rested up over the weekend, so I'm ready to make some headway on that big project'" -- or whatever positive thoughts you can conjure up to keep you from getting mentally mired in someone else's whining.
试图阻止抱怨只会招人憎恨,引火烧身,他补充道,但你可以在自己的脑海里重构这个讨论。“如果某人说:‘我恨星期一,周末太短暂了。’不妨试着反向思考:‘我很高兴在周末得到了休息,我准备好对付那个大项目了。’”其实任何积极的想法都可以,就是要避免陷入别人的牢骚中无法自拔。

4.Transfer responsibility."On occasions when you're pressed against the wall while someone is ranting, throw the responsibility back at them by calmly asking, 'So what do you intend to do about it?,'" Blake suggests. "In most cases, complainers don't really want a solution, nor are they looking for sympathy. They just want to vent, and this tactic will stop them in their tracks."
4. 金蝉脱壳。“有时如果实在躲不开喋喋不休的人,也可以让他们自己承担责任。你可以平静地发问:‘那你打算怎么办?’”布莱克建议道。“大多数时候,爱抱怨的人并不是真的想解决问题,也不是要寻找同情。他们就是要发泄一下。这样的战术会让他们停下来。”

Who knows, expecting the chronically disgruntled to come up with actual fixes for their (real or perceived) problems may inspire them to leave you alone and find someone else to complain to. If so, your hippocampus will thank you.
谁知道呢,如果你暗示牢骚满腹的人,让他们自己想办法去解决他们(真实或者臆想出来的)问题,也许他们就会放过你,另外找人去倾诉了。如果真是这样,你的海马体也会感激你。

Talkback:Have you ever worked with a constant complainer? Do you work with one now? What did you do about it? Leave a comment below.
反馈:你曾经和喋喋不休的抱怨者共事过吗?现在的同事中有这样的人吗?你是如何应对的?欢迎留言评论。(向Anne提问)



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