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Memorial to the Emperor Stating My Case
Li Mi
I, your humble subject Li Mi, have this to say: As ordained by my untoward lot, misfortune befell me in my early childhood. Six months after my birth, my kind father died. When I was four my mother was deprived of her will to remain in widowhood by my maternal uncle. Grandmother Liu, taking pity on my feebleness and helplessness, brought me up all by herself. I used to be afflicted with illnesses and was unable to walk even at the age of nine, living in loneliness and misery until I reached manhood. As I had neither paternal uncles nor brothers to render me help, I was placed in straitened circumstances, with no good luck ever smiling upon me, and it was not until very late that I begot a son. There being no close relatives outside the family, or a boy to answer the door in the home, I spent my days in complete solitude, with my body solaced only by my shadow. As Grandmother had long been laid up with sickness, I had to tend her, serving her decoctions, and never left her uncared for even for a single day.
With the advent of Your Majesty's holy rein, I have basked in your bright and serene edifying influence. Previously, Magistrate Kui recommended me to the post of Xiaolian, later Prefect Rong charged me with the official duty of Xiucai, but I was obliged to decline all these favours, as no one else could take care of Grandmother. Then Your Majesty's edict was issued expressly, assigning me to the position of Langzhong and before long I was graciously appointed by Your Majesty as a royal attendant. Being so humble in origin, I ought to have gladly waited upon His Highness the Prince, for I can never repay your kindness sufficiently even if I lay down my life. Nevertheless, I represented my case in full and did not go to assume the office. Thus the ensuing edicts were couched in stringent terms, condemning me for my bold procrastination, while the country officials pressed me hard, urging me to leave at once. In addition, the prefecture functionaries came to my home, demanding my hasty departure. Although I wish to act in obedience to your edict without a moment's delay, yet, seeing Grandmother's disease aggravated from day to day, I could not help following my instinctive feelings to stay on, which was, as I was informed, not to be allowed. My situation is indeed very awkward.
But in my humble view, Your Majesty's holy reign is based upon the practice of filial piety, and the veteran or aged people are treated with more compassion and care. As I am so helpless and miserable, I expect to be given special consideration. Besides, I served in my youth the puppet regime at my post in its central government. Originally I courted an exalted official rank, not quite concerned about reputation and integrity. Being a base captive taken from a fallen state, I am extremely insignificant and worthless. Now that I have had the fortune to be favoured with undue advancement, how can I presume to hesitate and expect more? But Grandmother in her fast declining days is breathing her last and is in momentary danger of death. But for Grandmother, I would not have survived, whereas without my help she cannot end her life in peace. We too have been so strongly attached to each other in our common existence that for our sincere mutual affection I simply cannot be separated from her, leaving her in the lurch. Now I am forty four and Grandmother is ninety six. So the days are long in which I shall be able to devote myself to serving Your Majesty, whereas the time is short in which I can repay Grandmother's kindness. This instinctive feeling of mine like that of a young crow feeding its mother to reciprocate her love caused me to beseech you to allow me to look after her to the last. My difficulties are not only evident to the gentry of Shu and the magistrates of the two prefectures, but can also be witnessed by the gods of heaven and earth. I wish that Your Majesty would take pity on my stupid and sincere heart and grant my humble wish, so that Grandmother would have the luck to spin out her remaining life. I vow that I will return your royal grace living or dead.
I cannot help an awestruck feeling as I am writing to Your Majesty this petition.
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