用户名: 密码: 验证码:    注册 | 忘记密码?
首页|听力资源|每日听力|网络电台|在线词典|听力论坛|下载频道|部落家园|在线背单词|双语阅读|在线听写|普特网校

Suzanne Britt Jordan - That Lean and Hungry Look 汉译

2014-06-26    来源:网络    【      美国外教 在线口语培训
— 查看译文 —

tips:怎样阅读才是有质量的阅读了? 中英对照请点击【中英对照】查看译文请点击 【查看译文】进行核对。


That Lean and Hungry Look

Suzanne Britt Jordan

Caesar was right. Thin people need watching. I've been watching them for most of my adult life, and I don't like what I see. When these narrow fellows spring at me, I quiver to my toes. Thin people come in all personalities, most of them menacing. You've got your "together" thin person, your mechanical thin person, your condescending thin person, your tsk-tsk thin person, your efficiency-expert thin person. All of them are dangerous.

In the first place, thin people aren't fun. They don't know how to goof off, at least in the best, fat sense of the word. They've always got to be adoing. Give them a coffee break, and they'll jog around the block. Supply them with a quiet evening at home, and they'll fix the screen door and lick S&H green stamps. They say things like "there aren't enough hours in the day." Fat people never say that. Fat people think the day is too damn long already.

Thin people make me tired. They've got speedy little metabolisms that cause them to bustle briskly. They're forever rubbing their bony hands together and eyeing new problems to "tackle". I like to surround myself with sluggish, inert, easygoing fat people, the kind who believe that if you clean it up today, it'll just get dirty again tomorrow.

Some people say the business about the jolly fat person is a myth, that all of us chubbies are neurotic, sick, sad people. I disagree. Fat people may not be chortling all day long, but they're a hell of a lot nicer than the wizened and shriveled. Thin people turn surly, mean and hard at a young age because they never learn the value of a hot-fudge sundae for easing tension. Thin people don't like gooey soft things because they themselves are neither gooey nor soft. They are crunchy and dull, like carrots. They go straight to the heart of the matter while fat people let things stay all blurry and hazy and vague, the way things actually are. Thin people want to face the truth. Fat people know that there is no truth. One of my thin friends is always staring at complex, unsolvable problems and saying, "The key thing is ..." Fat people never say things like that. They know there isn't any such thing as the key thing about anything.

Thin people believe in logic. Fat people see all sides. The sides fat people see are rounded blobs, usually gray, always nebulous and truly not worth worrying about. But the thin person persists, "If you consume more calories than you burn," says one of my thin friends, "you will gain weight. It's that simple." Fat people always grin when they hear statements like that. They know better.

Fat people realize that life is illogical and unfair. They know very well that God is not in his heaven and all is not right with the world. If God was up there, fat people could have two doughnuts and a big orange drink anytime they wanted it.

Thin people have a long list of logical things they are always spouting off to me. They hold up one finger at a time as they reel off these things, so I won't lose track. They speak slowly as if to a young child. The list is long and full of holes. It contains tidbits like "get a grip on yourself", "cigarettes kill", "cholesterol clogs", "fit as a fiddle", "ducks in a row", "organize", and "sound fiscal management." Phrases like that.

They think these 2000-point plans lead to happiness. Fat people know happiness is elusive at best and even if they could get the kind thin people talk about, they wouldn't want it. Wisely, fat people see that such programs are too dull, too hard, too off the mark. They are never better than a whole cheesecake.
 
Fat people know all about the mystery of life. They are the ones acquainted with the night, with luck, with fate, with playing it by the ear. One thin person I know once suggested that we arrange all the parts of a jigsaw puzzle into groups according to size, shape and color. He figured this would cut the time needed to complete the puzzle by at least 50 per cent. I said I wouldn't do it. One, I like to muddle through. Two, what good would it do to finish early? Three, the jigsaw puzzle isn't the important thing. The important thing is the fun of four people (one thin person included) sitting around a card table, working a jigsaw puzzle. My thin friend had no use for my list. Instead of joining us, he went outside and mulched the boxwoods. The three remaining fat people finished the puzzle and made chocolate double-fudged brownies to celebrate.

The main problem with thin people is they oppress. Their good intentions, bony torsos, tight ships, neat corners, cerebral machinations and pat solutions loom like dark clouds over the loose, comfortable, spread-out, soft world of the fat. Long after fat people have removed their coats and shoes and put their feet up on the coffee table, thin people are still sitting on the edge of the sofa, looking neat as a pin, discussing rutabagas. Fat people are heavily into fits of laughter, slapping their thighs and whooping it up, while thin people are still politely waiting for the punch line.

Thin people are downers. They like math and morality and reasoned evaluation of the limitations of human beings. They have their skinny little acts together. They expound, prognose, probe and prick.

Fat people are convivial. They will like you even if you're irregular and have acne. They will come up with a good reason why you never wrote the great American novel. They will cry in your beer with you. They will put your name in the pot. They will let you off the hook. Fat people will gab, giggle, guffaw, gallumph, gyrate and gossip. They are generous, giving and gallant. They are gluttonous and goodly and great. What you want when you're down is soft and jiggly, not muscled and stable. Fat people know this. Fat people have plenty of room. Fat people will take you in.


瘦人瘦相

苏姗娜·希里特·乔丹

凯撒说得对。遇上瘦人要当心。我自成年以来,多半时间都在注意他们,但所看到的情况让我不喜欢。细瘦的人冲我走来时,我连脚趾都哆嗦。虽然瘦人的性格各异,但多数让人望而生畏。你一定见过“井井有条”的瘦子,机械呆板的瘦子,优越感十足的瘦子,常常“啧啧”作响的瘦子,以及有“效率专家”之称的瘦子。他们都是危险人物。

首先,瘦人没意思。他们不懂得消闲,至少他们不了解“消闲”二字在最好和最广泛的意义上的含义。他们总是闲不住。若让他们停下来喝杯咖啡,他们就到街上去跑步;若让他们晚上在家里安安静静地待一会儿,他们就忙着钉纱门,用舌头舔贴S&H绿贴花*。他们老是抱怨说“白天时间不够”之类的话。胖人可从不说那个。他们觉得白天已经太长了。

瘦人让我感到累。他们新陈代谢快,手脚总是忙个不停。他们总是搓着那只皮包骨头的小手,东张西望,看有什么新问题需要“着手解决”。我喜欢和那些慢腾腾、懒洋洋、随随便便的胖人在一起,那种认为你今天打扫干净了明天还会变脏的人。

有人说关于笑嘻嘻的胖子的事情纯属杜撰;说我们胖人都是神经质,有病,可悲。我不同意。胖子虽然不是整天乐呵呵,但跟那干瘪的瘦子比起来要好得多。瘦子年纪轻轻的就变得脾气很坏,又小气又苛刻,因为他们从没认识到热乳脂软糖圣代冰淇淋可以缓和紧张情绪。瘦子不喜欢又甜又软的东西,因为他们自己既不甜也不温柔。他们像胡萝卜,嚼起来嘎吱作响而没有味道。瘦子喜欢直奔事物的要害,胖子却让事物就那么保持在含混模糊的状态,实际上客观的事物就是那样!瘦子总想面对真理,胖人很清楚,世上本无真理。我的一个瘦子朋友,眼睛老是盯着那些复杂、棘手的问题,说:“关键在于……”胖子从来不说那种话。他们知道,什么关键不关键的,根本就没那回事。

瘦子相信逻辑,而胖子从各个方面看问题。胖子所看到的各个方面是一团团难以名状的东西,通常是灰色的,黑白不甚分明,真不值得为之伤脑筋。但瘦子却很执著。“如果摄入的热量比消耗的多,”我的瘦子朋友说,“你的体重就会增加。道理就这么简单。”胖子听了这样的话,总是一笑了之。这个他们比谁都懂。

胖子知道,生活既不合逻辑,也不公平。他们很清楚,天上没有上帝,世上的一切都不正常。要是天上有上帝,胖子们岂不是随时都可以吃上两个馅饼,喝上一大杯橘子汁了。

瘦子总是滔滔不绝地给我拉出一个很长的单子,好谈什么事情是符合逻辑的。他们掰着手指一件一件地数着,这样我就不会跟不上。他们说话速度很慢,好像我是个小孩子。他们拉的单子很长,但漏洞百出。尽是些诸如“管住你自己”、“香烟能杀人”、“胆固醇堵塞血管”、“非常健康”、“井井有条”、“组织起来”和“完善财政管理”之类的空话。

他们认为这些有两千条的计划可以使你幸福。胖子知道,在最好的情况下幸福也是难以琢磨的,即使得到瘦子所说的那种幸福,他们也不要。胖子明智地看到,瘦子的计划太枯燥、太离谱、难以实现。永远比不上一块乳酪蛋糕。

胖子了解生活的奥秘。他们懂得夜生活,懂得运气,懂得命运,懂得随时就势。有一次,我认识的一个瘦子建议我们把拼图玩具按照大小、形状、颜色分开。他认为这样至少能把做一次游戏所需要的时间减少一半。我说我可不愿意那样做。第一,我喜欢随随便便地玩;第二,早早玩完了又有什么好处?第三,拼图本身并不重要,重要的是四个人(包括我的瘦子朋友)围着桌子做拼图游戏的乐趣。他不喜欢我列的那几条。他没有和我们一起玩,而是跑到外面给黄杨树根培土去了。剩下我们三个胖子玩完拼图后,做了几个双层巧克力饼以示庆祝。

瘦子最主要的问题是让人感到压抑。他们良好的愿望、瘦骨嶙峋的身躯、严密的组织、打扫干净的角落、理智的计谋、恰当的解决方案等,都像乌云一样笼罩着胖子的松散、舒适、开阔、温柔的世界。胖子早已脱下外套、鞋子,把脚搁在咖啡桌子上了,瘦子还坐在沙发边上一本正经地讨论着芜菁甘蓝。胖子已经拍着大腿前仰后合笑成一团时,瘦子还彬彬有礼地琢磨他们到底在笑什么。

瘦子使人感觉沮丧。他们喜欢讨论数学和道德之类的话题,以及已经争辩过的有关人类局限性的评价等。他们同时挥舞着瘦小的手臂不停地做着十分小所的动作。他们解释着,预测着,探索着,警惕着。

胖子喜欢社交。即使你脾气有些古怪,脸上有粉刺,他们也会喜欢你。在你没能写出那本伟大的美国小说时,他们会为你找到一个很好的理由。他们同你一起借酒浇愁。他们凑钱买东西时会把你的名字也写上。他们会帮你摆脱困境。胖子喜欢闲聊、傻乐、狂笑、狂蹦乱跳、转来转去,爱传小道消息。他们慷慨,大方,豪爽。他们贪吃,漂亮,伟大。你心情不好时需要温柔和轻松,而不是强劲和持重。胖子懂得这个道理。他们肚量大,容得下你。

(刘士聪、马会娟 译)



顶一下
(0)
0%
踩一下
(0)
0%
手机上普特 m.putclub.com 手机上普特
[责任编辑:elly]
------分隔线----------------------------
发表评论 查看所有评论
请自觉遵守互联网政策法规,严禁发布色情、暴力、反动的言论。
评价:
表情:
用户名: 密码: 验证码:
  • 推荐文章
  • 资料下载
  • 讲座录音
普特英语手机网站
用手机浏览器输入m.putclub.com进入普特手机网站学习
查看更多手机学习APP>>