1. Waddled to the bathroom with your thighs clenched together because you can feel it.
2. Gotten someone to “check the back” when you come out of the bathroom.
3. Inconspicuously laid your jacket on your chair seat in case of…accidents.
4. And done this face when you wake up in the morning and everything has shifted in the night.
5. Coughed to mask the obvious sound of you unwrapping a pad in the bathroom stall.
6. Tried to hold in a sneeze because who knows what might happen?
7. Asked someone at work for a pad or tampon and then been really clandestine about it as if you were dealing drugs.
8. Made a makeshift pad out of toilet paper when you didn’t have any actual pads to hand.
But because you were paranoid about it leaking through, it was more of a toilet paper mattress.
9. Crossed your legs really tightly whenever you sit down, in an attempt to stop the unstoppable flow.
10. Rushed to the bathroom because your “my uterus is falling out of me” cramps were actually “I urgently need to shit” cramps.
11. Confused your own butt sweat for leaking all over yourself.
12. Doubled up on a pair of knickers to decrease the chance of leakage.
Because hopefully you’ll get to the bathroom in time before the blood seeps through the second pair.
13. Inspected the tissue after wiping to see how much damage is being done down there.
14. Been both incredibly grossed out and weirdly satisfied by the size of a blood clot.
It’s an important and incredibly accurate way to assess how bad the period is.
15. Worn a tampon or pad just that little bit longer than you’re supposed to.Because you’re lazy and what does it matter when your period is going to kill you anyway?
16. Woken up in a small puddle of your own blood after a heavy night.
17. Exclusively worn black knickers for five days to the mourn the loss of your uterus’s unfertilised offspring.
But mainly because they hide blood the best.
18. Secretly worn a heat pad or hot water bottle under your clothing to ease the pain.
19. Stayed in the toilet for an extra long time because all the blood didn’t flush the first time.
20. And picked an outfit solely based on how bloated/heavy you are.