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双语散文:大学毕业后不再美好的九件事

2014-04-01    来源:网络    【      美国外教 在线口语培训

9 Things That Are Just Never As Good After College

1. Napping打盹

Napping in the middle of the day is the most sacred thing a person can do. And in college, no one says anything about your napping because they’re too busy napping to notice.
白天打盹是人生中最神圣的一件事。在大学里,没有人会针对你打盹而说什么,因为大家都在打盹,无暇顾及。

Napping has secured its rightful place in academia. But later in life, suddenly, “You must’ve been studying and/or partying really hard — you’ve earned this” turns into, “Wow,
you need reevaluate your life.”
在学习生涯中,打盹占有一席之地。但是大学毕业后,突然间,“你一定是忙于学习和/或者参加派对了--这是你应得的”就变成了“哇!你需要重新评估你的人生”。

2. Pulling an all-nighter 通宵熬夜

Staying up all night to do work is awful no matter what. In college, the all-nighter signifies “Wow, I need to get it together.” And after college, the all-nighter signifies “Wow, I REALLY need to get it together. Oh my god. OH MY GOD. What happened to my life?”
通宵熬夜,不管是为了什么,都很了不起。在大学,开夜车意味着“哇!我需要打起十二分精神。”毕业后,通宵熬夜则意味着“哇!我真的需要振作起来。噢,天啊;噢,我的天啊。我的人生到底是怎么了?”

3. Going to the library去图书馆

The library is THE place to go in college. Even though it’s overflowing with other obnoxious students, they just keep coming back for more. It’s the only time in your life sitting next to shelves of old books seems necessary.
在大学,图书馆是最佳的活动场所。尽管那里充斥着其他讨厌的学生,大家也会坚持去,就算这就意味着会遇见更多讨厌的人。因为这是你人生中唯一会觉得有必要坐在满架子旧书旁的时光。

Get ready to never go to another library ever again. And if you do go to one, get ready to be depressed.
准备好再也不去图书馆。如果真的去了,做好郁闷的准备。

4. Drinking games喝酒游戏

Competitive drinking is the foundation of higher education. It’s like the beer Olympics. Winning a game of beer pong or flip cup comes with an absurd feeling of glory.
比赛喝酒是高等教育的基石,它就像是一场啤酒奥运会。赢一场啤酒乒乓球游戏或者翻转杯(注:美国大学里最让人趋之若鹜的喝酒游戏),竟会带来一种荒谬的荣誉感。

But after college, no one will play with you. And if they do, nobody really cares who wins. There’s no spirit. No pride. No honing the craft. There could even be eye rolling.
但是毕业后,再也没有人会和你玩喝酒游戏。即使他们和你玩,也没有人在意谁赢谁输。游戏精神,自豪感以及苦练游戏技能都不复存在。甚至还会有人翻白眼以示不满。

5. Making new friends结交新朋友

College is the easiest environment to make friends. The verb “make” friends implies you actually had to do something to get those friends. You didn’t. They just manifested themselves. All of a sudden 20 friends came out of nowhere.
在大学里最容易结交朋友。“结交”这个动词意味着你必须采取实际行动来获得朋友。(而在大学里)就算你没有,朋友也会出现;突然之间,就结交了20个朋友。

But after college, the process of trying to make an actual new friend involves being so creepy and aggressive, it makes the whole concept of friendship seem totally overrated. It might as well be called “painfully cajoling friends” or “squeezing a rock so hard you burst blood vessels in your brain hoping a friend will come out.”
但是毕业后,尝试交一个真正的新朋友则需变得吓人及有攻击性的,显得(人们)完全高估了友谊的概念。倒不如叫“费力哄骗朋友”或者“使劲挤岩石挤得脑血管都像要崩裂了,只奢望着会有个朋友能从石头缝里蹦出来”。

6. Eating饮食

College students are expected to eat pure garbage. People who graduated college are expected to eat kale salads. It’s a cruel double standard, but it’s a harsh reality we must face.
在大家眼中,大学生就该吃垃圾食品,而毕业后的人就该吃甘蓝沙拉这类健康的食物。虽然这个双重标准很无情,但却是我们必须得面对这残酷的现实。

7.Casual hook-ups在公共场合穿睡衣

No one can stop you from wearing pajamas outdoors past the age of 22, but they can ask you things like “Are you sure you’re OK?”
当你大于22岁,没人能够阻止你在户外穿睡衣,但是他们会问一些问题,如“你确定你没病吧?”

8.Yelling大喊大叫

No one can argue that yelling isn’t fun. In college, you can get away with yelling while safely under the umbrella of “dumb college student.” Sadly, after graduation, that umbrella closes and yelling gets you lumped into the “terrible person” category.
没人能否定大喊大叫是有趣的。在大学,大喊大叫不但不会受到惩罚,同时还安稳地生活在“愚蠢的大学生”这个称号创造的保护伞下。遗憾的是,毕业后,没有了保护伞,大喊大叫会导致你被归到“恶人”的行列。

9. Learning学习

College students have the special opportunity to stimulate their brains in the noble pursuit of education. Devoting YEARS to learning seems like a good idea. But once its over, the thirst for knowledge quickly withers and dies and when someone tries to tell you new information you have to cover your ears and start screaming until they leave you alone.
追求教育的高尚过程为大学生创造了特殊的机遇,可以刺激大脑活动。多年专心投入到学习中看似个好主意。但一旦毕业,求知欲会迅速减弱,最后消失殆尽。当有人尝试告知你一些新信息时,你不得不捂住耳朵尖声大叫直到他们离开。



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