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散文:中国女人,请不要再和外国人睡觉了

2014-12-31    来源:ChinaSmack    【      美国外教 在线口语培训

散文:中国女人,请不要再和外国人睡觉了

Chinese Women, Please Don’t Sleep With Foreigners

散文:

Ask a foreigner why he has come to China.He’ll probably answer that he likes China’s long history, splendid culture, rapid development and changes.But let me tell you, apart from a small minority who have been sent by the government or their company (usually along with their families), the vast majority are related to the two factors below:

One, they’re not doing well in their home countries, or they simply can’t survive in their home countries;Ask a foreigner why he has come to China.He’ll probably answer that he likes China’s long history, splendid culture, rapid development and changes.But let me tell you, apart from a small minority who have been sent by the government or their company (usually along with their families), the vast majority are related to the two factors below:

Two, they’re looking for Chinese women.

One afternoon I was coming back to work with a French woman that I work with. We saw from a distance an old person picking up trash. He was pushing a cart. The French woman poked me, saying “You see that?” “See what?” “Over there right in front of you.” Only then did I see that this old person was a foreigner, carrying a bag, with long dirty hair. I’m a little short sighted and had thought he was someone picking up trash. That cart he was pushing wasn’t a cart at all, but a pram, with a little half-blood kid in it. Next to him was a Chinese girl, a slim young Chinese girl.

The French girl laughed: “What’s up with you Chinese girls?” She was laughing because we had just been talking about this topic over lunch. Actually I’ve seen and heard it many times before; the story of this kind of foreign guy and Chinese girl. I haven’t paid much attention but this pair before me were in a class of their own. This sweet Chinese flower and this old, ugly, fat, short, bald, shriveled foreign guy, and their little baby in its pram.

My French friend was doubled over in laughter (I don’t know why she was laughing like that). At that moment, as a Chinese person, my self-respect was deeply deeply hurt.

A few days later I decided to do three things. First, to let everyone know the ugly truth about foreign men. Second, to call to action all Chinese, so that we can make our women see that the world doesn’t revolve around foreign men. Last but not least, I have decided that to become a scholar, I will have to temporarily give up my day job. This will allow me to focus on my research. The topic? Chinese men in the eyes of foreign women. This way I’ll be able to give Chinese men who are looking for foreign women a helping hand.

My colleague and I made our first stop by seeking out those white women who live in China but have never had a Chinese boyfriend. We hoped to find out the reason for this. We also sought out those who had had Chinese boyfriends, or were married to Chinese men. They helped us with the good and bad points of Chinese men. I know that these kinds of laowai are few and far between, but luckily I know a few.

We also got these expat white female laowai to fill out a broad questionnaire. Through this scientific analysis led us to a picture of the Chinese male, and illustrated their top five Chinese men. We asked them to answer these questions:

Are foreign women interested in Chinese men? How do single laowai women want Chinese men to treat them?  How can Chinese men make themselves more attractive to foreign women? Which Chinese men do foreign women like the most? What kind of foreign woman likes Chinese men? How should  one approach a foreign woman in a public place? When did China become a paradise for foreign men?


John is one such an example. Not long ago, I ran into him on the street. He was holding hands with a Chinese girl a half a head taller than him. He said that his Chinese girlfriend worked for a modeling agency. Actually if John hadn’t called out to me I wouldn’t have recognised him, he looked completely different to how he looked the last time I saw him.

John, 42, is American, 162 cm. He hadn’t graduated from high school so he had a hard time finding work in America. After drifting around Africa for two years, he heard that lots of Americans hit the jackpot in China so he went to Shanghai. When he first arrived in Shanghai, he was a stranger in a strange place, and only got a job at a small town in Jiangsu as an English teacher.

After a few months John wasn’t satisfied, so he headed back to Shanghai, staying in a 12 kuai a night hostel. That’s when I met him. I had gone there to find another foreign friend of mine for dinner. I saw them chatting and assumed she knew John, so I asked him to come along too. I only found out later that she’d only just met him.

When it came to ordering, John ordered something quite expensive. My friend asked him in English, “That’s pretty expensive, are you going to pay for it yourself?” John was like a school kid who has been caught doing something wrong and canceled it. Seeing his pram look I told my friend in Chinese that it wasn’t a problem, and told him to continue ordering.

After that night I got quite busy with work, and forgot all about John. Seeing him this time, he told me that he’d found work at a school in Shanghai. I haven’t spoken with his girlfriend, but could tell that she already has begun to look down upon Chinese people. Seeing her, I could not help but think she must have idea that her American John had to depend on others to survive. This kind of thing is too much like idol worship, obviously something humans created themselves, yet creating them and then going to worship them.

Once I was on a bus and saw your typical American slacker. He was with a Chinese girl, feeling her up right there on the bus. You could see that she really wanted to let him know how moved she was by the experience, but unfortunately her English vocabulary seemed to consist of only two words.

A taxi driver once told me that once he picked up a black guy from a bar. He got in with a Chinese girl on each arm. He assumed that they were both ‘professionals’ so didn’t pay much attention. That was until they arrived at their destination: the dormitory of one of the top research schools. He said he was really surprised at that.

According to reports there was a dying AIDS patient in a hospital in Beijing who admitted that in a few weeks in Beijing he’d had ‘relations’ with six Chinese women. An investigation had found out that all of them were high level intellectuals.

Such a group of foreigners are living in China. They can’t find jobs in their own countries, but come to China and can make a living, drink and get women just off their foreign identities. And all they do in their spare time is grumble about China. There are even consular workers who abuse their position to take advantage of Chinese women. Some even gloat in public that “With my signature I can get any Chinese woman.”

China, did you know about this? You’ve given laowai too much, too much, so much that laowai have come to look down upon you. So much that even foreigners themselves find it odd, calling [those ugly foreigners] white trash. I want to take this opportunity to warn those laowai to not feel too proud. All you have gotten are the bodies of Chinese women, bodies without souls.

Recently spreading on the internet is a joke about foreigners looking for Chinese brides: A 47-year-old foreigner registers at a matchmaking agency in China. For a long time, no one contacted him. Then suddenly on day a whole heap of inquiries are sent to him, which of course takes him by surprise. He asks around what happened, and it turns out that someone at the agency made a mistake: They’d written his age as 67 instead of 47.

Matchmaking agencies for foreigners also prove that the reason that Chinese women want to find foreign husbands isn’t love. Investigations have shown that the average difference between a Chinese bride and her foreign husband is 10.5 years. 13% of brides and grooms are from different generations, with a 20 year difference in ages. Apparently the record is a 54 year age difference. The American groom was an 82-year-old old man, while the Chinese wife was only 28.

As chance would have it, I recently saw a joke in an American magazine: An eighty-something old man accompanied his pregnant twenty-something wife to the hospital for a checkup. The doctor kindly tried to suggest to him whether [his wife’s pregnancy] may have had some other cause, but the old man immediately refused to believe it saying, “Impossible. I’m capable of working miracles. Last time when I went out hunting with my wife and one of her male friends came too. I just pointed my umbrella at a deer and it fell down dead.” [I don’t get it either – maxiewawa]

I don’t know if that Chinese bride will let everyone know the good news about her pregnancy, so that we can all share in a real miracle. She’s probably gained something in her marriage, but has lost something very precious: respect.

But actually the fault lies with those Chinese women who go around with foreign men. But they are mostly women who haven’t been overseas, who don’t have a realistic view of the world. This is why I’m taking the opportunity to tell them how things really are. If you’ve found real love, I congratulate you. My personal feeling is that no matter how far, how long or how fleeting real love is, it’s always worth chasing.

Even so, I have to give you a word of advice. Firstly, although the thing that most Chinese women want is a stable marriage, apart from a few exceptions, the divorce rate in western countries is around 50%, and in marriages between cultures there are even more reasons for instability.

Secondly, I am highly skeptical of whether today’s foreign men will really give Chinese women true love. The reason is because before you can have true love, you must have respect, and in the eyes of foreign men, the image of Chinese women have already begun to be ruined by the minority, having become: The world’s most promiscuous, most brazen, most devious, simple-minded, intellectually slow, stupid, “easy” girl. It’s hard to imagine a man giving true love to a woman like that. There’s one exception, which an American told me about, which is those foreigners who want their wives to be a three-in-one combination of maid, cook, and sex worker.

Maybe you’re just doing it for money. I get it, I’m not stopping you. But I just want to tell you before you give up your body that you should make sure of two things: one, that this foreigner you’re giving yourself up for really has money. Trust me, lots of foreigners in China don’t have two cents to rub together. Secondly, that he really wants to marry you, because if he doesn’t formally marry you, his money is his and you have no claim to it.

Maybe you just want to leave the country, again, I’m not stopping you. But once again, you have to make sure of two things before giving yourself up: one, that this foreigner really wants to go back to his own country. Although foreign countries have more money than we do, that’s a long way from heaven. Lots of foreigners don’t want to go home because they can’t find good jobs (some can’t even find jobs at all). You think they want to go back to the same crummy, lonely life? Secondly, make sure that he’s really going to marry you. Because if you don’t you won’t be able to get permanent residency in his country.

The daughter of a neighbor of a workmate married a farmer from a Japanese mountain area. This neighbor is always telling my colleague stuff like “We don’t worry about money any more, ten thousand, twenty thousand, it’s nothing.” But, dear neighbor, do you know if your daughter is really happy in Japan. Chinese value face over everything, and always bringing out the good points in people while overlooking the bad. A few years ago a Chinese TV station went out to that mountain village to interview this girl. She’d left the bright lights of Shanghai for this remote, cold little village. All I heard from her was disappointment, frustration and helplessness.

Maybe your reasons are sexual? In Australia there is a Ms. Shi who wrote an article saying “…. I have a girl friend who in China was already considered was quite open, a woman who has had abundant sexual experience. However, the first time she was with a western man, she still felt a kind of extreme “fulfillment”. Telling me about it on the phone, she was so excited that she was thinking of immediately marrying that westerner, whereas I rather calmly advised her that western men that are good in bed are common, that out of every ten western men, eight are great in bed while two are just so-so, that out of every ten Chinese men, two are just so-so while eight are awful.”

As soon as Ms. Shi’s article became widely known, Chinese men clamoured to defend themselves.The subject was in the papers for several months, with debate continuing so heatedly that apparently it made headlines in international news overseas. But this was a subject that did no favours for Chinese men.

Whether or not Ms. Shi was speaking of her own experiences, or if she was trying to represent  for all women, is unclear. I hope that my research can shed some light on the matter.

The subject of my research isn’t Chinese girls that have married foreign men, but the other way around: foreign girls that have married Chinese men, or white women who have had Chinese boyfriends before. I asked them straight out how Chinese men perform in the bedroom. The replied bluntly that they do well, one even used the word “perfectly”. One person’s reaction to my question was “What, don’t you guys have confidence in your sexual abilities?”

My research is ongoing, with the results of the research to be completely published afterward.

poke:vt.戳,捅; 推; 拨火

short sighted: adj.近视的

pram: n.<英>(手推的)婴儿车; (送牛奶的)手推车;

slacker: n.<非正>逃避工作的人,偷懒的人; 懒鬼

gloat: vi.幸灾乐祸地注视; 心满意足地注视; 爱慕地凝视

matchmaking: n.做媒;缔缘

skeptical: adj.怀疑性的,好怀疑的

brazen: adj.无耻的;坚硬的; 声音响亮刺耳的

devious: adj.迂回的,曲折的; 不光明正大的,不正直的;

crummy: adj.劣质的; 低劣的; 糟糕的

clamour: vi.&vt.喧哗,吵闹; 大声地要求或抗议

(ChinaSmack)



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