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译文精选:真正的忠诚

2015-03-11    来源:yeeyan.org    【      美国外教 在线口语培训

真正的忠诚
True Loyalty

【译文精选】

Do you have anyone in your life who (occasionally or frequently) loves to vent their frustrations in your direction?
在你生活里,有没有人总爱(偶尔或频繁地)朝你宣泄他们的沮丧情绪?

 

Are you often the provider of a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on?
你是否经常充满同情地倾听他们述说,或为其提供依靠哭泣的肩膀?

At times these can be valuable roles to play. I think it’s well and good to be sympathetic and understanding when you can — if you’re truly helping the other person.
有时,这些都是极具价值的助人角色。我认为拥有同情与理解能力十分重要和美好 — 只要你确实能够帮到对方。

It’s nice to have people to turn to that can bring us back up when we feel beat up by circumstances. Being able to share our sorrows and frustrations helps us process them, learn from them, and release them. We may even see the humor in such situations and laugh at them.
在感到自己被周遭情形挫败时,有人可以求助并将我们带回积极状态,是非常美好的事情。分享自身的苦痛和沮丧能帮我们处理它们,从中吸取经验教训,最终将其摆脱。我们甚至能在分享时看出此类情形的幽默之处并一笑了之。

On the other hand, some people get so stuck in negative thinking that venting becomes much more than a temporary steam valve. Instead it becomes their default strategy for connecting and getting attention.
另一方面,有些人则过度陷于消极负面思维,以致其宣泄行为变得不再只是临时解压之举。相反,这种行为变成了他们与人交往和获取关注的默认策略。

Do you know anyone like that? If so, why are you maintaining that relationship? Why are you allowing such negativity in your life?
你是否认识这种人?倘若如此,你为何还在保持这份关系?你为何允许自己生活中存在这类负面影响?

Is your investment in this relationship actually helping? Is the other person showing good progress along a positive path — and appreciative of your help? Are you being an effective mentor in helping this person move beyond their temporary period of funk? Can you point out all the positive signs of progress you’ve made together in your relationship during the past quarter? Would an objective third- party observer report, “I can see that your help and assistance are really paying off”?
你对这种关系的投入真的有益于人吗?对方确实表现出积极进展 — 而且感激你的帮助吗?你真是一位有效的导师,在帮助此人超越临时畏缩状态吗?你能指出过去一个季度,双方关系中共同取得的所有积极进展吗?若有客观的第三方观察者,他会报告说:“我能看出你的帮助确实卓有成效”吗?

If you’re not really helping, what are you doing? Why are you on the receiving end of repeated venting from someone who isn’t taking responsibility to improve their situation? Why are you wasting your precious time with someone who’d rather whine than grow and improve?
假如你并未真的帮到对方,那你在干什么?你干嘛要待在接收一端,反复承担他人宣泄的情绪,而对方其实并未负起应有责任,努力改善个人情形?面对一个更想无病呻吟,而非寻求成长和进步的人,你干嘛要在他身上浪费自己的宝贵时间?

Using Negative People to Slow Yourself Down
用消极负面人士做借口拖慢个人前进脚步

Isn’t it reasonable to conclude that you’re using this relationship as an excuse to slow yourself down and hold yourself back from working on your own big, scary goals?
更为合理的结论,难道不是你在用这种交往关系,作为借口拖慢个人前进脚步,阻碍自己去实现更加宏大,并害怕着手的目标吗?

After all, wasting time and energy on someone who isn’t really committed to a path of growth isn’t actually going to produce meaningful results, will it? You could surely find better investments elsewhere. Learn some new skills. Write that book you’ve always been wanting to write. Branch out and meet new people. Start a new business. Go travel for a while.
毕竟,把时间和精力浪费在没有真正承诺成长的人身上,其实创造不出富于意义的结果,难道不是吗?你肯定能在其他地方,找到个人资源的更佳投入对象。学些新技能。写本一直想写的新书。主动出击认识些新人群。开创一份新事业。或直接旅行一段时间。都是很好的选择。

But of course, many of those things are scary. They’ll stretch you beyond your comfort zone. It’s so much easier to deal with the familiarity of a negative-minded person. It almost feels good to hear them whine at you, doesn’t it? Their problems are probably simple and easily solvable. You see the solutions even if they don’t. But you love clinging to their intractability because it helps you stay in pause mode.
不过当然,上面说的许多事情都令人畏惧。它们要求你走出个人舒适区。而应付一个自己熟悉的消极人士要简单容易得多。听着他们跟自己抱怨牢骚的感觉简直好极了,难道不是吗?他们面对的问题有可能非常简单并极易解决。就算他们没发现,你也早已看出解决方案。但你就是喜欢看着他们手足无措的样子,因为这能帮你待在暂停不前的生活模式里。

By keeping this person in your life, you also fill up some of your social space — space that might otherwise be occupied by people who’d actually encourage, support, and push you to grow. Negative-minded people will never push you to grow. If you became more growth oriented and began speeding up, they’d regard it as a threat. What are you trying to do? Leave them behind?
但将此人留在生活中时,你也占用了自己的一些社交空间 — 这些空间本可被另一些能鼓励、支持和推动你成长的人填补。有着消极负面思维的人永远无法推动你成长。若你变得更愿成长并开始提速前行,他们就会将其视作一种威胁。你试图干嘛?把他们甩在身后吗?

Such relationships will indeed slow you down. If you have some ambitious goals in your life, and you fear working on them, a great way to procrastinate is to cling to a relationship that’s incompatible with your greater vision.
这种消极负面的交往关系,毫无疑问会拖慢你前进脚步。若你生命中有些雄心勃勃的目标,自己又害怕着手实现,一个拖延的好方法,就是紧抓不放跟你伟大愿景并不兼容的那些交往关系。

The most fearful and disempowered people I encounter almost always have a constant source of negativity in their lives. Usually this is a close relative or a close friend. Additionally, these people wrap themselves in a belief system that says they have to value that relationship more than their own sanity, growth, happiness, and fulfillment.
我遇过的最充满恐惧和毫无力量的人们,在其生活里几乎都有持续不断的消极负面情绪来源。这种来源通常就是一位近亲或好友。此外,这些人还将自己包裹在一种信念体系中,告诉自己必须重视这份关系的价值,甚至超过其自身的理智、成长、幸福和满足感。

Putting your relationships first makes sense if your relationships are healthy, supportive, and empowering. It’s foolish to be stubborn and clingy with unhealthy relationships though.
只有你的感情关系是健康有益、充满支持和富于力量时,把感情关系放在第一位才说得通。如果你对有害身心的感情关系依然顽固坚持和紧抓不放,就会显得愚蠢之极。

While your negative-minded friend may reward you for engaging in a clingy dependency relationship, what you may not realize is that others are punishing you for this behavior. The most growth-oriented people in your life are surely losing respect for you. They’re losing interest in you because you don’t look like a growth oriented person yourself; you look like you’re standing still, making feeble excuses, and succumbing to complacency. You look like someone who’s more interested in delusions than real growth. Most likely they won’t tell you any of this because they have better things to do. You don’t seem particularly investment worthy.
虽然那些消极负面的朋友,有可能让你在一份相互依附的感情关系里获得满足。但你也许没意识到的是,其他人正因这种依附行为而惩罚你。你生活中最愿追求成长的人们,肯定会失去对你的尊重。他们对你失去兴趣,是由于你看起来不像追求成长的个人;你倒更像个原地不动,寻找各种无力借口,屈服于自满情绪的人。你看起来像是对幻觉,而非真正的成长,更感兴趣之人。最有可能的情况,是他们根本不会告诉你这一切,因为他们还忙着做那些更为美好的事情。你似乎没有什么特别之处,值得对方投入时间精力。

True Loyalty
真正的忠诚

Positive relationships are growing relationships.
所谓积极正面的交往关系,就是能不断成长的交往关系。

A positive relationship is a delicate balance of someone who accepts you as you  are yet also recognizes your potential to keep growing. A positive relationship  makes it hard for you to settle. It lets you feel loved and accepted, but it makes it  difficult for you to be too complacent. When you stagnate, you can feel the strain it  creates in your positive relationships, but your negative relationships have no  trouble with your stagnation.
一份积极正面的交往关系,是种精妙美丽的平衡,你的交往对象会接受你当前的真实样子,同时也能看出你未来不断成长的潜力。积极正面的交往关系会使你难以自满自足。它能让你感到被爱和被接受,但也会令你难以志得意满。当你停滞不前,便能感受到这份积极正面的交往关系创造的张力,而那些消极负面的交往关系对你的停滞就毫不介意。

Positive relationships are available and abundant. They’re yours to enjoy. Commit yourself to a path of growth, and take action on it each day. Push yourself, and don’t settle. Positive people will recognize you as a kindred spirit and befriend you. Negative people will push you away because you’re a threat to their stagnation.
积极正面的交往关系能够获得,并且极其丰富。它们就在那里,等着你去享受。向着个人成长的道路许下承诺,每天都为其付诸行动。不断推动自我,绝不自得自满。积极正面的人士就将把你认作他们的精神同族,成为你的忠实朋友。那些消极负面的朋友则会把你推到一旁,因为你成了他们停滞不前的威胁。

You don’t even have to deliberately cut ties with negative people. Just be unwaveringly committed to your own path of growth, and hold them fully responsible for their own results in life. When they vent excessively at you, call them out for it; hold them responsible and tell them to stop whining so much. You will disgust them in short order, and they’ll very likely feel compelled to dump you in short order.
你甚至无需刻意切断与消极负面人士的联系。只用坚定不移地向个人成长的道路许下承诺,让他们对自己生活中的各种结果负起全面责任。当他们朝你过度宣泄情绪时,勇敢说出你的看法;让其负起该负的责任,别再到处抱怨。你很快就会倒他们的胃口,他们也很快想甩你而去。

Commit to no longer using relationships with negative people to slow yourself down. This behavior is beneath you. You have better things to do with your life.
跟消极负面的人承诺那些毫无益处的交往关系,只会拖慢你前进脚步。这种做法配不上你的宝贵生命。你的生命还有更美好的事情等着去实现。

If you cocoon yourself in a bubble of denial, your negative relationships will surely permit it. But you’re only making yourself look ridiculous to the positive people in your life — if there are any left.
如果你把自己固步自封于充满否定思维的气泡中,那些消极负面的交往关系对此肯定毫无异议。但在积极正面的人士眼里 — 若你生活中仍剩有这类人的话,此种行为只会使你看起来荒诞可笑。

Being loyal to negative relationships is being disloyal to courage. Disloyal to growth. Disloyal to your path with a heart.
对消极负面的交往关系保持忠诚,就是对勇敢的生活不忠,对个人成长不忠,对自己忠于内心的道路不忠。

Drop the ridiculous belief that you’re somehow being a loyal friend when you serve as someone’s go-to outlet for whining. That isn’t loyalty. It’s disloyalty to that which genuinely deserves your enduring faithfulness and steadfastness.
请丢掉那种荒诞可笑的信念,自以为不管如何还算一个忠诚可靠的朋友。其实你不过是他人抱怨牢骚的一个出口。这绝非忠诚。面对真正配得上你长久信仰和坚守的事物,这种行为才是不忠。

Be loyal to courage. Be loyal to the greatness within you. Be loyal to your path of growth. Challenge and invite your once negative relationships to join you in this exciting adventure.
请对勇敢忠诚。对你身上的伟大一面忠诚。对你忠于成长的道路忠诚。挑战自己曾经消极的交往关系,邀请人们加入你那趟令人兴奋的冒险之旅。

【原文来源:stevepavlina.com 作者:Steve Pavlina  翻译来源:yeeyan.org 译者:SPC】



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