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2015-06-19    来源:yeeyan.org    【      美国外教 在线口语培训

Emotional Mastery


I received much feedback on the previous post regarding the challenge of consciously directing one’s thoughts to feel a certain way.

First of all, recognize that there are people and corporations with a strong vested interest in conditioning you to maintain the (false) belief that you need some kind of external validation to feel a certain way. Marketers spend billions of dollars each year to convince you that you need to drink their soda, eat their food, wear their clothing, drive their cars, and shop at their stores to feel happy, cool, fashionable, popular, confident, successful, etc. Who benefits most when you adopt the belief that you need to dress a certain way to feel fashionable or drive a certain car to feel cool?

When you understand that you have the innate ability to consciously direct your thoughts to create any feeling you want, whenever you want, you’re not going to make such people rich. But you will be much more free, since you’ll gain the power of conscious control over your own emotional states. This is a skill that takes practice, but it is a learnable one. For example, in a matter of minutes I can get myself to feel any emotion I want, and for those I’ve already anchored, I can put myself into that state in less than 5 seconds. This is nothing unique — experienced actors can do it too. If an actor can laugh uproariously or cry rivers of tears or shout with intense anger over something completely fake, then you can certainly learn to be 100% confident on que as well (and really experience the genuine emotion).
当你明白自己拥有天赋能力,可以清醒引导个人思维,在任何时候,创造想要的任何感受时,这些人便无法从你身上致富。与此同时,由于获得了对个人情绪状态清醒控制的力量,你将变得更加自由。这是一种需要练习方可掌握的技能,但它是可以学会的技能。例如,几分钟内我就能让自己感受到想要体验的任何情绪。而对于那些我早已锚定的情绪,不用5秒钟我就能让自己处于那种状态。这并没什么独特之处 — 经验丰富的演员也能做到。倘若一位演员可以对某件完全虚假的事情仰天大笑、泪流满面,或勃然大怒,你当然也能在特定时刻学会100%的自信(并真正体验那种诚实情感)。

My favorite emotion is the state of feeling “unstoppable,” which is one I anchored at a Tony Robbins seminar. Anchoring means conditioning a specific emotional state to be linked to a simple trigger, just as Pavlov conditioned his dog to link getting fed with the sound of bell. So if I make a certain movement, I automatically surge into this emotional state within a few seconds. In my old Tae Kwon Do studio, I noticed another student firing off an anchor several times during sparring matches. The tennis player Andre Agassi and the basketball player Byron Scott both used emotional anchoring in their athletic careers, and I’ve read that emotional conditioning has been used by German Olympic teams with outstanding results (the U.S. Olympic teams are generally much further behind in this area). Anchoring is well covered in Tony Robbins Unlimited Power book, and he also takes you through it directly in his live seminars and he covers it in his Personal Power audio program. Something really cool I discovered is that once I’ve conditioned an anchor, I don’t even have to physically fire it off. If I merely imagine myself making the particular motion, it still works. So Weds night when I was being introduced as the speaker, I mentally imagined myself firing off my trigger for confidence, and by the time I reached the lectern I was feeling 100% confident. Yes, 100% — no nervousness or self-doubt whatsoever.
我最喜欢的情绪状态是感觉“勇不可挡”,这是我在Tony Robbins研讨班上锚定的一种情绪感受。锚定技巧意指通过训化作用,将一种特定情绪状态,与一个简单触发行为联系起来,就像巴甫洛夫训化他的狗把铃声与喂食联系起来一样。所以若做出特定动作,我就能在几秒内自动投入那种情绪状态。在以前参加的跆拳道训练班上,我便注意到有位学员在对打比赛中多次做出一种锚定动作来鼓舞士气。网球运动员阿加西和篮球运动员布莱恩·斯科特,也在运动生涯中使用过情绪锚定技巧。我还读到德国奥运代表团在应用情绪训化技巧方面,也取得过出色成果(美国奥运代表团在此领域就落后多了)。锚定技巧在Tony Robbins的《无限力量》一书中有详细解释,他还会在个人现场研讨班上直接带领学员练习这种技巧,另外在其名为《个人力量》的音频项目中也有涉及。我发现的一件非常酷的事情,就是一旦训化形成一个锚定技巧,我甚至不必主动做出相应动作。只要想象自己做出那个动作,这种技巧便依然管用。因此周三晚上作为演讲者登台时,我就在脑中想象自己做出了充满自信的触发动作。于是在走到演讲台前,我已感到拥有100%的自信。是的,100% — 毫无紧张或自我怀疑的情绪。

Advertisers use anchoring on you all the time. This is why Pepsi will pay someone like Michael Jackson $20 million to be in a 30-second commercial (OK, so that was years ago). They want to condition you to link the emotions you get from hearing a particular song to their product. This emotional conditioning works a lot better than trying to logically argue why you should consume sugar water and chemicals. And it absolutely works … to the tune of billions.
广告商们一直都在你身上使用锚定技巧。这就是为何百事可乐愿付迈克尔·杰克逊这样的明星2000万美元,只出现在一段30秒广告里(好吧,这事都过去好几年了)。他们想训化你在听到特定歌曲时,就将随之而生的个人情绪与其产品联系起来。这种情绪上的训化,比试图从逻辑上辩论你为何该消费糖水和化学品要好用得多。而且它绝对管用... 能为百事可乐带来几十亿美元收入。

Dr. Wayne Dyer said that when he was learning about self-actualization in college, a professor posed this question: If a totally self-actualizing person unknowingly showed up to a formal event wearing overly casual attire, how would s/he react? The answer: S/he wouldn’t even notice. That’s the state of total emotional mastery, where no external event can knock you into a negative emotional state. A mind like water.
Wayne Dyer博士提起过当他在大学学习有关自我实现的知识时,一位教授提出了这个问题:假如一个完全自我实现的人,以过度休闲的打扮无意中出现在一个正式活动上,他/她会如何反应?答案是:他/她甚至不会注意这种事情。那就是处于完全情绪掌控状态的表现,没有什么外部事件能把你推入负面情绪。那种思维状态会如水般灵活平静。

The problem isn’t that external events have control over your emotions. The problem is believing that they do. Abandoning this belief and realizing that you have the innate ability to control how you feel at any given moment, regardless of your circumstances, is the first step to emotional mastery. Events are neutral. What causes you to feel a certain way is how you interpret an event, how you think about it. The same event (even one so serious as the death of someone close to you) will be interpreted differently by different people. You were taught to represent certain events to yourself as tragic, while other people on this planet were taught to celebrate those same events. The event itself has no meaning but the meaning you assign to it, and that act of assigning meaning (whether done consciously or unconsciously) is what causes you to feel a certain way.

Once you understand this, you can begin to take conscious control over these assignments. When stricken with a terminal illness, some people interpret it as terrible and go into a deep depression. Others interpret it as a challenge and find a way to overcome the illness. And still others see it as a wake up call to reevaluate their priorities and make the best possible use of the time they have left, developing deeper bonds with the people around them and living much more fully. To some people it’s an ending, while to others it’s a new beginning. But this doesn’t have to be a subconscious reaction — it can be a conscious choice. Whenever something happens that you would normally say “makes you depressed,” you can choose to find and assign an alternate interpretation that makes you feel empowered instead of disempowered. Instead of failure you can see a learning experience. Instead of a loss, you can focus on deepening your feelings of gratitude for what you do have. Instead of rejection you can see a temporary mismatch and a renewed opportunity to find the perfect fit. Just because TV teaches you to feel a certain way in response to a certain event doesn’t mean you have to blindly accept that interpretation, especially since the TV business benefits when you feel down and thereby tune in to try to change your emotional state.
一旦你理解了这点,就能开始对这些赋予意义的行为进行清醒控制。当患上某种绝症,有些人会将它解读成可怕事件并陷入深度绝望。另一些人则把它解读为一次挑战并寻找战胜疾病的方法。还有一些人将其视为觉醒召唤,重新评估个人生命中的优先事项,并充分利用剩下时光,深化自己与周围人们的感情联系,去过更加充实的生活。在某些人看来是结束的事情,对另一些人而言则是新的开始。然而这种解读不必是潜意识反应 — 它还可以是种清醒选择。无论何时,当发生你通常会说“让自己绝望”的事情时,你都能为之选择并赋予一种新的解读,使你感到充满力量,而非虚弱无力。与其为失败难过,你可以把它视作学习经历。与其哀痛损失,不如专注于深化感恩之情,珍惜已有之物。与其感觉被人拒绝,不如将其看做暂时的不匹配对象,以及重获寻找更完美对象的新机会。只是由于电视教导你要对特定事件拥有特定感受,并不意味着你必须盲目接受那种解读。尤其是电视行业还能从你的消沉情绪中获益,以便你会一直收看节目以求改变个人情绪状态。

Between stimilus and response lies the opportunity for conscious choice. You can be fired from your job and turn it into a victory instead of a defeat (Lee Iacoca did). You can go bankrupt and move on to even greater wealth (Donald Trump did). You can be injured to the point of disfiguration and turn it into an advantage to inspire others (W. Mitchell did). You can be dumped by your girlfriend, feel suicidal, and yet still bounce back (Billy Joel did). And on the other hand, you can enjoy outstanding external success and yet abuse yourself to the point of death (John Belushi did).
在刺激与回应之间,存在做出清醒选择的机会。你可以被人解雇并把它变成一次胜利,而非视为失败(Lee Lacoca(克莱斯勒汽车公司总裁)这样做过)。你可以经历破产并走向更大财富世界(Donald Trump(美国地产大亨)这样做过)。你可以受伤到甚至毁容的程度并将其变成激励他人的优势(W. Mitchell(美国百万富翁,市长)这样做过)。你可以被女友甩掉,痛苦得自杀未遂,但仍东山再起(Billy Joel(美国歌星)这样做过)。另一方面,你也可享受出众耀眼的外部成功,却虐待自己到吸毒致死的地步(John Belushi(美国喜剧明星)这样做过)。

For any seemingly “negative” event, you can find someone who turned it into an empowering experience. And for any “positive” event, you can find someone who interpreted it in such a way as to destroy themselves. Avoid the trap of letting events subconsciously control you, and use the power of your consciousness to decide your own interpretation of events for the greatest good of all.

When you reach the point of becoming independent of external events, you’re truly free. This is the state of being detached from external events, knowing that you can exert direct conscious control over your thoughts instead of needing something external to do it for you. Dr. Wayne Dyer refers to it as being “independent of the good opinion of others.” No matter what happens to you, you can still choose to be at peace.
当拥有能对外部事件保持独立反应的态度,你就将迎来真正的自由。这便是不再依附任何外部事物的状态,你知道自己能对个人思维直接施加清醒控制,无需什么外部事物来为自己做出决定。Wayne Dyer博士将其称为“独立于他人好意”的状态。无论在你身上发生什么,你仍能选择沉静平和。

【原文来源:stevepavlina.com 作者:Steve Pavlina  翻译来源:yeeyan.org  译者:SPC】

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