Let the word go forth from this place that Miss Pippa of the Middletons is now engaged to Mr James Matthews, bachelor of this parish.
On a midsummer day on the fells, James got down on one of his rugged knees, rummaged among the Kendal mint cake and liniment bottles in his mink-lined rucksack to pull out the stonking £250,000 ring.
For the UK’s most eligible miss — possessor of a famous derriere, party planner, glazer of chipolatas, professional royal-in-law and socialite extraordinaire — is now officially off the market.
Not only that, but clever Pippa has scored a bullseye when it comes to rich husbands and, in doing so, has even managed to eclipse Kate.
For while Kate may have married into royalty — and have produced a son who is a future King of England — Pippa stands to live the unrestrained wealthy wife’s life that Big Sis can only dream of.
Despite the prestige inherent in her married title of Duchess of Cambridge, in many ways Kate will always be a bird in a modestly gilded cage.
And while she must never seem profligate, the sky is the limit for the future Mrs Pippa Matthews.
Her husband-to-be is, of course, a hedge fund manager, a 40-year-old City financier who is richer than some small countries and who is evidently happy to spend a considerable part of his fortune on his future bride.
For after becoming famous just because of her sister, Pippa has the best of everything — starting with the engagement ring.
While Kate had to make do with the outdated and second-hand Ring of Doom — Princess Diana’s Ceylon sapphire, given to her by Prince Charles, for ever the glittering symbol of a royal marriage that went spectacularly wrong — Pippa has an amazing chunk of brilliant diamond, chosen just for her by the man she loves.
In addition, she can — and does — have as many lovely holidays as she wants. For James’s parents own Eden Rock, one of the loveliest hotels on the Caribbean island of St Barts, meaning Pippa will never have to look far to top up her year-round tan.
Not only that, but her fiance also has a private plane, a £3 million Pilatus PC-12, in which he whisked Pippa to Corsica for a weekend in May.
Unlike Kate, bound by unforgiving royal schedules and responsibilities, Pippa can take off on a whim whenever she pleases, opting for unashamed five-star luxury at every turn.
Contrast, too, the sisters’ marital homes. Pippa is already installed in James’s magnificent, stucco-fronted house in London’s Chelsea, where her bethrothed has recently installed his and hers dressing rooms.