1.“Which of my friends is most attractive?“
Much like “Do you think she’s pretty“ any questions relating to the attractiveness of her friends is a blatant trap. Your girlfriend might want a reason to argue or she might be genuinely curious about your response. In either case, your best answer is a straightforward stair and a firm pleading of the fifth in this case.
2.“That guy whistled at me!“
There is a fine line between being proud of your girl for getting a compliment and understanding her anger for being objectified. Hint: if someone catcalls your girlfriend then you need to match your girls'anger note for note. Catcalling may seem awesome in reverse, having woman exclaim how handsome you are, but it is not the case for women around the world. Catcalling is typically unwelcome and always disgusting. We aren’t implying that you need to go slug some dude, but at least respect your girl enough to sympathize with her anger.
3.“I'm almost ready to go!“
This is girl-phrase for “I've just began to turn myself into a representable human being. Please give me another hour.“ If you hear these dreaded words then you had better place your well groomed butt on the sofa, pull out a magazine, and get ready to change your plans for the night — you aren't going to make that movie, your dinner reservations won’t be held, and now you are going to be the bad guy. It's not all bad, however, because now you have room for an ‘adventure’ — carefully re-orchestrating your minutely planned evening of romance.
4.“Thanks a lot.“
When your girlfriend responds to something you did with “Thanks a lot“ you should pretty much hang up your cleats because the game is over. “Thanks“ or “Thank you“ is an appropriate answer to a small favor performed, but the added qualifier of “a lot“ makes this one snarky response that should send chills up your spine — an argument is brewing.
Any time that we end up dipping our language into hyperbole, male or female, will unveil layers of our own prior emotion. In couples counseling you'll see the counselor focus on all of the qualifiers we add to our words. Eventually, with enough practice, you'll begin to understand all the different forms of “Thanks a lot“ that crop up in your day to day conversations.
5.“Do you need to do that now?“
If you are doing anything in the world of adult dating that precipitates this response then you've already sort of messed up. This is particularly true when it comes to the little passions you might have that your girlfriend doesn't like video games, for example. If you are sitting on the couch with your girlfriend and you turn on the Xbox and she asks, “Do you need to do that now?“ then your response should be simple: “No, you're right, I don't“.
Not only is she giving a clear signal that she wants your attention but she is also giving you the ability to choose to give it to her, which will ultimately earn you some savory brownie points to be cashed in later. Always remember to give your girl the attention that she deserves because there will always be someone else willing to do it.
6.“I'll eat anywhere.“
It's almost become a meme at this point, but trying to decide where to eat dinner is a conversation trap that can turn even the most loving of couples into two cats in a junkyard. When you ask your wife where she wants to eat and she says “anywhere“ then you need to make some rapid fire decisions.
Do you want to press the issue and force her to make a decision? Probably not. Instead of pressing her for an answer you should instead make a quick decision using your backlog of information. If you guys had sushi just two days ago, opt for something that she likes while still being relatively ‘new’ to your recent dining options.
7.“That guy is looking at me.“
You know that you have a complete smoke show of a girlfriend or wife and that obviously rises to the top of your thoughts when you go out with her. Obviously guys are going to notice how beautiful she is.Sometimes your girl will feel flattered and other times it will bother you. In any event, if she mentions that a guy is flirting with her when you are around then you need to take notice.
While the guy may or may not be actually flirting with her, your response is clear: You need to give more attention to your woman. She mentions the other guy's looks solely to make you more attentive. Don't be a meat head and start a fight. Be a good guy and give her more love.
8.“I'm not mad.“
There are white lies that keep most relationships afloat and for the most part they are best off ignored. Don't press the issue on some of these white lies but always be aware of what they mean. If you notice your girlfriend acting a little short, or a little irritated, and she tells you that she “isn't mad“ then you need to believe her, but also know what she really means.
She's probably mad. She might be mad at you or she might be mad about something that you have no control over. Either way, don't push for her to spill the beans. Merely continue being the good guy that you probably are. If it continues to bother her then she will eventually open up and let you know.
9.“I don't want to talk about it.“
We have mentioned white lies that are good to be ignored, now let's talk about white lies that you don't leave alone. When your girlfriend starts an argument with you and then abruptly bookends it with “I don't want to talk about it“ then you know she is fibbing. Couples aren't supposed to walk away from arguments to let them ferment. Instead, couples need to be proactive in their approach to problem solving. If she says that she doesn't want to talk about something then give her some space before exploring the problem further.
10.“Do I look fat in this?“
To a degree we are all aware of just how our body looks. This gives us body insecurities that tend to magnify when we grow older or when we start to break down just a little bit. An important part of your relationship will revolve around always making sure that your girlfriend looks and feels beautiful. So when she asks that trap question, “Do I look fat in this?“, she is really just asking you to tell her that she's beautiful to you in any outfit. Still, do be honest in regards to outfits. Instead of talking about her body when answering this question, instead focus on things like patterns and colors.
11.“Do you think she's pretty?“
We've talked a lot about how certain questions or phrases can be coded requests for affirmation or love. This question, “Do you think she's pretty“, is nothing more than a minefield that needs to be avoided. Perhaps your girl is feeling less than her best in terms of appearance or maybe she thinks that your eyes have been wandering a little bit lately. Either way, your answer should be a resounding “No way, not even half as pretty as you“.
12.“Do whatever you want.“
This phrase is particularly indicative of the kind of double speak that men just aren't equipped to understand. On the surface the phrase ‘Do whatever you want sounds like your woman is giving you permission to go ahead with whatever plans you had made. This is not the case. In fact, ‘Do whatever you want’ is closer to a dare than it is to any other sort of phrase.
If your girlfriend or wife utters this phrase then you need to pause in your tracks, perk your ears up, and try to read between the lines. Hint: she doesn't want you to go forward with your plans.
(英文材料来自于 DailyForest 翻译：实习生 郝苑秀