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恋爱撑不过3个月的魔咒,你也有吗?

2017-07-22    来源:普特英语听力    【      美国外教 在线口语培训

恋爱初期,感情既甜蜜又脆弱,很多人却觉得自己中了“恋爱撑不过3个月”的魔咒,这样的魔咒,你也有吗?


"I am wondering if am I trapped in some kind of dating curse, why my relationships never last more than three months," said Hu Yiran, a 25-year-old girl based in Beijing, who just broke up with her fourth boyfriend a few weeks ago.

“我怀疑自己是不是中了什么约会诅咒,为毛我谈恋爱永远撑不过3个月,”25岁的北京女孩胡亦然(音译)说道,她几周前刚跟第四任男友分手。


Hu is not alone. Many young people, including celebrities, may want an answer. On September 7, American pop star Taylor Swift broke up with Thor (2011) actor Tom Hiddleston, her ninth boyfriend in almost as many years, according to celebrity and entertainment magazine US Weekly.

胡并不是一个人。很多年轻人,包括一些名人,都想知道这个问题的答案。去年9月7号,美国流行歌手泰勒斯威夫特和电影《雷神》中的演员汤姆希德勒斯顿分手,据美国的娱乐名流杂志US Weekly报道,这是她这么多年来的第九任男友。


Swift and Hiddleston were first caught kissing on Rhode Island in June. However, three months later, they were calling it quits.

霉霉和抖森第一次被拍到接吻是在去年6月美国的罗德岛上,3个月后,他们分手了。


"Nowadays, there seems to be a threshold for some young people. Their relationships are not lasting long," said Sun Hao, a Beijing-based relationship counselor, who started her consulting career in 2008.

“当下,对一些年轻人来说,好像有一条界限似的,那就是他们的感情都难以长期维持,”一位北京的情感咨询专家孙好(音译)说道,孙从2008年开始她的情感咨询事业。


The duration is usually about three months. The first three months are the best part and can be called the "honeymoon phase" for most couples, Sun said.

这个界限通常就是3个月。感情最初的3个月对大多数情侣来说是最美好的时期,被称为“蜜月期”,孙说道。


When people fall in love, their brain secretes hormones, such as dopamine, norepinephrine, and phenylethylamine. These chemicals can make people feel excited and think irrationally.

当人们陷入爱情时,他们的大脑会分泌荷尔蒙,比如多巴胺,肾上腺素,苯乙胺。这些化学物质会让他们变得激动,变得不理性。


"Sometimes people think that what they are feeling is love and rush into a relationship," said Qin Zezhong, the chief psychologist at Beijing ZhiXin Psychological Consulting Company. "But as time passes, the level of those hormones goes down and the couple's ability to think rationally returns, so they may rethink their relationship."

“有些时候,人们以为自己感觉到的是爱,然后一头扎进了感情中,”秦泽中(音译),北京知心心理咨询公司(音译)的首席心理学家如是说道,“但随着时间的流逝,这些荷尔蒙的分泌变少,情侣们的理性开始回归,他们会重新考虑彼此的关系。”


Different people have different personal experiences and hormone levels, said Qin. He said that for some people, the euphoric feeling lasts about three months, which makes the first three months of their relationship sweeter and more fragile.

秦说道,不同的人有不同的人生经历,不同的荷尔蒙水平,对有些人来说,这种愉悦的感觉可以持续大约3个月的时间,因此,他们的感情最开始的3个月是极其甜蜜又极其脆弱的。


Hu said she and her ex-boyfriend fell in love at first sight and her life was full of passionate moments in the beginning. However, as they began to spend more time together and bump up against each other's quirks, frictions developed.

胡说道,她和前男友是一见钟情,感情的开始,她觉得自己的生活充满了激情。然而,随着他们在一起的时间越长,彼此的怪癖变得难以容忍,摩擦不断。


"I fought with my latest ex-boyfriend once because of his table manners. He would stir his food first before finally picking up some from his bowl to eat. It was extremely impolite, and when I asked him not to do it, he got irritable and mad," she said. "We fought a lot then. He accused me of being too picky and controlling, and I felt he was rude and bullheaded."

“有一次我跟前任吵架是因为他的餐桌礼仪。他总是先把碗里的食物先搅拌一番再吃,我觉得这是非常不礼貌的,我让他不要再这么做了,然后他就生气了。我们为此吵了很多回,他说我太挑剔控制欲太强,我觉得他太粗鲁太顽固。”胡说道。


After Hu's recent breakup, she started to reflect on some of the possible reasons her relationships fizzled and died so quickly.

最近的这次分手后,胡开始反思为什么自己的感情会失败,并且失败的如此迅速。


"My ex-boyfriends at one time or the other all mentioned that I am a little bit controlling and picky," she said. "It seemed fine in the beginning, but as time went by, it became a problem."

“我的前任不止一次提到过我控制欲有点强,还爱挑剔,”胡说。“刚开始的时候还觉得这没什么,但时间久了,就成了大问题。”


To end the cycle of serial dating, Qin suggested that young couples undertake to solve problems together and be understanding with each other.

想要结束这样的怪圈,秦建议,年轻的情侣们应该尝试共同解决问题,对彼此加深理解。


"When they have conflicts, it is a good thing," Qin said. "It means that they are moving forward to a new phase of deeper understanding about each other. They should never avoid or hide problems. Instead, they should be more open and honest with each other to solve their problems because communication and tolerance are the keys to maintaining a relationship."

秦说道,“情侣间爆发矛盾这其实是一件好事情。这意味着他们的感情发展到了新阶段,对彼此的了解也越深,他们从不应该逃避或隐瞒问题,相反,他们应该对彼此变得更坦诚,共同面对那些问题。因为沟通和容忍是建立一段感情的关键。”


Sun shared Qin's opinion, adding that keeping the relationship interesting is also important. "Keeping the feeling of freshness is essential. For example, giving each other more personal space is a good way of helping some couples keep their relationship's freshness," she said.

孙也赞同秦的观点,并表示,让感情变得有趣同样重要。“保持新鲜感是很有必要的。举个例子,情侣间给彼此更多的私人空间可以更好的帮助他们在感情中保持新鲜感。”


Hu has decided to take a break from relationships and focus on herself for a while.

胡也决定要从感情中抽离一段时间,把精力更多的放在自己身上。


"I want to cool down and figure out my problems before I put myself into the next relationship," she said. "I hope that I can break the three-month cycle."

她说道,“我想冷静下来,在投入下一段感情之前,好好想想清楚自己的问题出在哪里。希望自己可以打破3个月的魔咒。”


各位普特er是否也中过“恋爱超不过3个月”的魔咒,欢迎留言分(ku)享(su)你的经历。


英文来源:环球时报

中文来源:普特英语



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