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2014年六级考试写作专项训练(5)

2014-02-21    来源:网络    【      托福雅思口语高分过

Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic How Should College Students Relieve Pressure? You should write at least 150 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:

1)当今的大学生要面临很多来自不同方面的压力

2)大学生缓解压力的方式有…

3)你一般都是如何排解压力的?

How Should College Students Relieve Pressure?

【行文思路】
本题属于提纲式文字命题。提纲第1点指出一个问题,提纲第2点要求说明如何解决该问题,提纲第3点要求阐述“我”的做法,由此可判断本文应为问题解决型作文。

根据所给提纲,本文应包含如下内容:指出当今的大学生主要面临哪些压力;列举大学生缓解压力的方式;谈谈“我”是采取哪种方式排解压力的。

【高分范文】
How Should College Students Relieve Pressure?

Today’s college students face many pressures, mainly from parents’ expectation, study, economy, employment and all kinds of competition. [1]Although pressure to some extent can provide motivation, overdue pressure has a serious negative effect. Pressure can destroy a student’s confidence. [2]More seriously, it might make some students lose control of their emotions and behaviors.

[3]Considering the great damage of overdue pressure, college students should learn to how to relieve pressure. [2]First, we should have a right evaluation of ourselves [4]so as to [5]make use of advantages and avoid disadvantages. [2]Second, we should [6]set a clear aim of a struggle. The aim can give us motivation, and make us become active. [2]Third, [7]attending collective activities is an effective way to relieve pressure. [2]Finally, if you find pressure is nearly [8]beyond your control, you’d better turn to professional psychological guidance.

[2]As to me, my pressure is mainly from future employment. [4]In order to reduce it, I asked my parents help me analyse my advantages and disadvantages, and produce a more practical job objection. [2]So my employment pressure was relieved greatly. Now I become confident in my future, and I [9]do believe I can get an ideal job after my graduation.

【亮点点评】
[1]although引导让步状语从句。

[2]过渡衔接词语,使文章条理清晰、衔接紧密。

[3]“考虑到,鉴于”,介词。

[4]表示目的。

[5]“扬长避短”。

[6]“设立一个明确的奋斗目标”。

[7]动名词短语作主语,用不同于前两点的句式提出缓解压力的第三种方式。

[8]“超出…范围或能力”。

[9]强调动词believe。

【佳句临摹】

1.佳句:Although pressure to some extent can provide motivation, overdue pressure has a serious negative effect.

临摹:尽管兼职工作能够带来很多好处,但我们不应该在它上面花费太多的时间。

2.佳句:Attending collective activities is an effective way to relieve

临摹:学会如何与人沟通是步入社会的第一步也是最重要的一步。

3.佳句:In order to reduce it, I asked my parents help me analyse my advantages and disadvantages

临摹: 为了在激烈的竞争中获得优势,大学生们必须全面发展自己的能力。

【KEY】
1. Although a part-time job does much good to us, we should not spend too much time on it.

2. Learning how to deal with people is the first and the most important step to enter into the society.

3. In order to get their priority in the fierce competition, college students have to develop their abilities in an all-around way.



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