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2014年六级考试写作专项训练(6)

2014-02-24    来源:网络    【      托福雅思口语高分过

Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic Credit Cards on Campus. You should write at least 150 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:

1)近年来越来越多的大学生开始使用信用卡

2)分析产生该现象的原因

3)针对大学生使用信用卡提出你的建议

Credit Cards on Campus

【行文思路】
本题属于提纲式文字命题。提纲第1点指出一种现象,提纲第2点要求分析产生该现象的原因,提纲第3点要求针对该现象给出“我”的建议,由此可判断本文应为现象解释型作文。

根据所给提纲,本文应包含如下内容:描述大学生使用信用卡的现状;分析大学生信用卡用户增加的原因;针对大学生使用信用卡提出“我”的建议。

【高分范文】
Credit Cards on Campus

In recent years, credit cards have [1]gained more popularity among college students. [2]With banks’ more focus on college market, [3]an increasing number of college students have applied for a credit card and begun to consume by it.

[4]The following three factors can account for the popularity of credit cards in college. [5]Firstly, a credit card provides overdrawing service, [6]which is [7]a big attraction for those students who have no much money for their domination. [5]Secondly, a credit card can help release financial burdens on those poor students, and [8]hence reduce the risk of their dropping school for lacking money. [5]Besides, many banks make some preferential policies on credit cards, like sending a gift, lowering year cost. [7]Drawn by these policies, many college students apply for credit cards.

[5]As far as I am concerned, it is not a bad thing for college students to own credit cards. [5]However, there is misuse of credit cards among college students. Many students use credit cards to buy luxurious things they don’t need really, and even some of them owe a big credit cards debt. [5]Therefore, schools and banks have responsibility to let college students learn how to use credit cards properly. [9]Only in this way can college students enjoy really the advantages of credit cards.

【亮点点评】
[1]“越来越流行”。

[2]“随着”,介词。

[3]“越来越多的”。

[4]用于引出原因。

[5]过渡衔接词语,使文章条理清晰、衔接紧密。

[6]which引导非限制性定语从句。

[7]表示“吸引”的两种不同的方式,用词富于变化。

[8]“由此,因此”。

[9]“only+状语”位于句首,引起句子部分倒装。

【佳句临摹】
1.佳句:With banks’ more focus on college market, an increasing number of college students have applied for a credit card.

临摹:随着市场经济的快速发展,金钱在社会中扮演着越来越重要的角色。

2.佳句: A credit card can help those poor students pay their tuition and fees, and hence reduce the risk of their dropping school.

临摹:一些同学希望通过社会实践提高自己的能力,并由此来增加就业机会。

3.佳句:Drawed by these policies, many college students apply for credit cards.

临摹:在就业压力的迫使下,一些大学生开始自主创业。

【KEY】
1. With the rapid development of market economy, money plays a more and more important role in the society.

2. Some students hope to enhance their practical abilities by attending social practice, and hence increase their chances of employment.

3. Forced by employment pressure, some college graduates begin to set up their own businesses.



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