Growing Pains 102
A. Jason: Hi, I'm Jason Seaver. I am psychiatrist. I spent last 15 years helping people with the
B. Maggie: And I'm Maggie Seaver. And I spent last 15 years helping our kids with problems,
even Jason wouldn't believe.
C. Jason: Now Maggie has gone back to work as a reporter for the local Newspaper.
D. Maggie: Jason has moved his practice in the house, so we can be there for the kids.
E. Jason: They are great kids.
F. Maggie: Most of the time.
G. Jason: And rest of the time?
H. Maggie: We love them, anyway.
I. Jason: Yeah.
J. Ben: Unbelievable.1. Mike: This is it - my Springsteen tickets.
2. Maggie: When did they outgrow skateboards?
3. Jason: When you buy them a Camaro.
4. Mike: Yeah. Ok, bye.
5. Jason: Gonna see Springsteen, ah?
6. Mike: Yeah, tomorrow night. It's gonna be awesome. Ladies and gentlemen the boss…
7. Carol: Wait, wait. I thought the Springsteen's concert was sold out.
8. Mike: Sold out? Carol, to a man with connections, nothing's ever sold out. That just
happened to be Seth Jameson, nephew of the man whose brother-in-law owns the hot dog
concession of the coliseum.
9. Jason: Wow.
10. Carol: So, did you get tickets?
11. Mike: Did I get the tickets? Of course, I got tickets.
12. Carol: You did? Springsteen?
13. Mike: Well, no. To the Icecapades (乐队名). We have got very good seats, and two free hot
14. Carol: Talk about connections. Are those all-beef dogs?
15. Maggie: Oh, it's too bad about the concert. You must be disappointed.
16. Mike: Oh, no. I still got a couple of things going. I'll get the tickets. Alright, this is it. Hello,
yes. Talk to me. Yeah, yeah. Ok, yeah I'll see you.
17. Jason: No dice?
18. Mike: No. Jerry was sure he'd be able to get those tickets from his friend Chichi, but...
19. Maggie: Chichi? Jason, our son knows people named Chichi?
20. Jason: Maggie, we cannot judge somebody's on the base of a name. Anyway, Mike you will
21. Mike: Yes, Chichi's parole officer didn't think it would be such a good idea for him to scout
tickets so close to the trial.
22. Jason: Good judgments there Chichi.
23. Maggie: We are sorry, honey.
24. Mike: That's all right. I still got one more shot. Yeah, Jimski, Yes, Mike. Yeah, look, I got to
have those tickets. Yes, look offer them anything they want. What? My jacket? My leather
jacket, the one smells like actual cattle?
25. Jason: He delivered papers for two years to get that jacket. He loves that jacket. I love that
jacket. Of course I never had a jacket that nice.
26. Mike: Ok, ok, you can have the jacket. Oh, come on. Jimmy. Oh, oh. Look, I hate to even
ask Jerry that. Yeah, all right. Call me right back. He wanted a date with Jerry's sister.
27. Maggie: Trixy? She's only 11.
28. Mike: I said no.
29. Jason: Mike, you don't really wanna part with that jacket, do you?
30. Mike: No. But Dad there is no way that Bruce is gonna play 10 miles from my house and
I'm gonna miss him. I got to go to that concert.
31. Jason: Here it is.
32. Mike: Yeah, what? It's impossible. Yeah, ok, see you.
33. Jason: Well?
34. Mike: Somebody offered him a house.
35. Maggie: A house?
36. Mike: It's just for a weekend. But it's still out of our league. Unless…
37. Maggie: Mike!
38. Jason: Ah, hah.
39. Mike: Ok, fine.
40. Jason: Mike, at least you still have that jacket, right?
41. Mike: Who cares? It smells like a dead cow.
42. Ben: Mom, Mom, Mom. I just saw a mouse in the yard like this big.
43. Maggie: Was this a mouse or a small sheep?
44. Ben: Well, it had beedy little eyes and a long tail, and went like this.
45. Carol: That's a sheep, alright?
46. Maggie: Ok, ok. Where did I put those mousetraps?
47. Carol: What are you gonna do with the mousetraps, Mom?
48. Maggie: I will be honest with you, Carol. I'll plan to use them to trap mice.
49. Carol: Won't that kill them?
50. Maggie: Hopefully.
51. Carol: Mom.
52. Maggie: Carol, a Mom's gonna do what a Mom's gonna do? Son, bring in my Camembert.
53. Ben: All right, we are going in with the big guns.
54. Carol: Oh, Mom. I mean they are cute, harmless, little creatures.
55. Maggie: Carol, these are the same guys who carried the plague all through Europe during
the tenth century and killed millions of people.
56. Carol: That was a thousand years ago, Mom. How long are you gonna hold the grudge.
57. Maggie: Michael.
58. Mike: Go ahead. Try it. Try to give me one good reason to go on living, Mom.
59. Maggie: The solid girl dancers.
60. Mike: At least Dad's not here. I mean he really tried to cheer me up.
61. Maggie: Ah, the slime
62. Mike: I mean he always acts like, he's gonna be real sympathetic then before you know, he
turns on you. Mike, Mike, Mike. I find that the time like this is always the best to keep a little
perspective on life.
63. Maggie: At least, he didn't give that line about how rough he had it when he was your age.
64. Mike: No, no. That's right ,he always says: Mike, now I'm not gonna give you that a line
about how rough I had when I was your age but I think that you should be aware that
historically, people have had it rougher than this.
65. Jason: Hi.
66. Maggie: Hi.
67. Jason: Ah, we have mice?
68. Maggie: Yup, and if I am not back in 24 hours, call a cat.
69. Jason: Mike, Mike, Mike, still feeling pretty low, huh pal?
70. Mike: Dad, I am feeling fine, lets just drop it, ok?
71. Jason: Ah, come on, come on. I know what you are going through?
72. Mike: Yes, sure, Dad.
73. Jason: No, I do. I really do. You know I didn't want to bring it up this morning and depress
you. But I have seen Springsteen in concert.
74. Mike: You have?
75. Jason: Huh, ten years ago.
76. Mike: Really? What was it like?
77. Jason: Amazing. I mean the guy completely blows your doors up.
78. Mike: Oh, God. I don't wanna hear this.
79. Jason: He made me feel so …
80. Mike: Please.
81. Jason: free!
82. Mike: Dad.
83. Jason: I was gonna just walk out of that concert and hitchhiked right across the country.
84. Mike: Stop.
85. Jason: Sorry. Mike, if you had one wish right now. One thing, what would it be?
86. Mike: Dad, I am really not in the mood for this.
87. Jason: Come on, Mike, come on, come on. Tell me one thing that would make you the
happiest guy in the world. What would it be?
88. Mike: A solid girl dancer
89. Jason: Alright, two wishes.
90. Mike: Front row tickets to the Springsteen concert.
91. Jason: Would the 7th row be alright?
92. Mike: Come on, Dad. Don't toy with my emotions. Huntington dry cleaning, three shirts,
clean pressed, no starch. Thanks Dad. That was my third wish.
93. Jason: Ok, ok. Sorry wrong pocket. How about these?
94. Mike: Kick, Dad, you know what these are? These are Springsteen tickets.
95. Jason: Really?
96. Mike: I can't believe it, how did you get them?
97. Jason: Well, Mike, your Mom and I made a big decision: we could either afford to send you
to a college or we could get those tickets. What do you think?
98. Mike: You made the right choice. I can't believe it, two tickets to Springsteen. Wait till I tell
Jerry. He's gonna freak.
99. Jason: Hey, wait a minute. Show some compassion. When Jerry finds out we are going. It's
gonna kill him. We don't wanna rub it in.
100. Mike: Right, right.
101. Jason: Hey, Mike you don't really mind going to the concert with your old man.
102. Mike: No, no.
103. Jason: You're sure?
104. Mike: Yes, Dad this is going to be great.
105. Jason: I mean you don't wanna take one of your buddies?
106. Mike: No.
107. Jason: You don't want to take Jerry?
108. Mike: No.
109. Jason: Peggy Zelinski?
110. Mike: No, Dad. I wanna go with you, really.
111. Jason: Well, alright. Then, let's call Jerry and rub it in. Just kidding.
112. Eddie: Hey, I swear it man. I have tried everywhere. There's not one more ticket around.
113. Boner: Seaver. Did you just score tickets?
114. Mike: Did I say I was gonna score tickets? wala
115. Eddie: Outrageous. Where did you get these?
116. Mike: I have my connections.
117. Eddie: So, Mikey, buddy, broski just how many tickets have you got here?
118. Mike: Just two.
119. Eddie: What you think he's gonna take you, bonehead? You'll take me. Right, Mikey?
120. Mike: Sorry guys. No can do.
121. Eddie: Ok, can I be perspective. Let me guess. Peggy Zelinsky, right?
122. Boner: Oh, man, what an opportunity. Have you ever seen a girl after a Springsteen
concert? They turn into wild animals.
123. Eddie: Have you asked her yet?
124. Mike: No, not exactly. I mean Peggy wants me, man. But hey she doesn't do it for me.
Look, I'll be late for English. Got to go.
125. Eddie: I'll be late for English got to go. Seaver, you barely speak English. Who are you
going with, man?
126. Mike: My father.
127. Boner: What?
128. Mike: My father.
129. Eddie: Who is "my father"?
130. Boner: Wait, is that the new weird kid from Pakistan?
131. Mike: No, man, I'm going with my father.
132. Eddie: You're gonna go see Springsteen with your father, man? Haha.
133. Mike: My father is not like a father, ok? He's a cool guy.
134. Boner: Yeah, he's cool. Last time I was over there, he was waxing the floor, singing "Puff
the magic dragon!"
135. Mike: Don't be a jerk, alright Boner!
136. Eddie: I'm telling you, Seaver, it's weird.
137. Mike: It's not weird, OK? I mean just because you're too big a jerk to do anything with
your father, it doesn't mean that there's anything weird or uncool about it? You guys breath a
word of this to anybody and you're dead meat.
138. Reporter: One fascinating aspect of tonight's crowd is its broad age range, and if I am not
mistaken, evidence of this cross generation appeal is right here. Excuse me, young man, did
you attend this evening's concert with your father?
139. Mike: Who wants to know?
140. Reporter:. All of the Tri-state area. This is the news line, New York. Sir, is this your son?
141. Jason: Hey the big fella here? Not only is this my son,this is my best buddy
142. Reporter: Tell me Sir, isn't it unusual for a father and son to attend a rock roll concert
143. Jason: No, no way. Not in our family not in any familythat loves each other, right?
144. Reporter: Young man, anything you'd like to say to your friends at school?
145. Maggie: Carol, I was just upstairs in the attic.
146. Carol: Hey that's great. Mom.
147. Maggie: All the cheese's gone, and all traps are sprung. But There's no mice in them.
148. Carol: Really?
149. Maggie: Carol, I have nothing personally against these mice. It's just my children's health
is more important to me than theirs is.
150. Carol: Fine, just go ahead to kill them. But where does it stop Mom? Today it's mice.
Tomorrow it's the neighbor's barking dog. Then maybe the mail man late one day. Killing a mail
man is a federal offence, Mom.
151. Maggie: Well at least she didn't just overreact? Hey, Mike. How was the … concert? Is
there an irrate children convention upstairs?
152. Jason: What?
153. Maggie: What's up with mike?
154. Jason: How should I know? Didn't say a word to me all the way home.
155. Maggie: Oh?
156. Jason: Guess he thinks I embarrassed him or something.
157. Maggie: Why? What did you do?
158. Jason: I didn't do anything. He's over reacting. Well we got interviewed by a television
crew down there and… Never mind. I'd really rather not talk about it.
159. Maggie: Oh, well. I'm sure it'll blow over by tomorrow, or the next day.
160. Carol: So, how's my brother to be the big TV star.
161. Mike: Hey knock it off, Carol. I've been getting that all day.
162. Boner: Hello, everybody. This is News Line, New York.
163. Eddie: We're here with Mike and Jason Seaver, two really cool guys?
164. Boner: That girl asked me to go to the movies on Saturday, so you know what I did?
165. Boner: I asked my Dad.
166. Mike: Hey, Boner. You're a real funny guy.
167. Eddie: Hey, Mike. Listen, maybe you and your Dad could double with me and my Dad
some night. Mike, you can tell us.
168. Boner: Did you get lucky or was that goodnight kiss all you got?
169. Carol: You guys are a lot funnier since your labotomeys.
170. Eddie: Wow, what a family! A guy dates his dad and gets his little sister to stick up for him.
This could make the news too. What a guy, we're buddies! I love this guy.
171. Carol: Come on Ben. I need your help. The mice need your help.
172. Ben: I'm just not political.
173. Carol: Ben, there comes a time when principle alone demands we take a stand. I give
you a quarter.
174. Ben: A dollar.
175. Carol: 50 cents?
176. Ben: Save the mice.
177. C&B: Release the rodents.
178. Maggie: Ok, ok. I give up, you win. Here.
179. Carol: Harm-free mouse hotels, your mouse checks in and doesn't check out until you find
it a more suitable environment.
180. Maggie: And that's not at all. Jason, tell Carol what these lucky mice have won.
181. Jason: Well, Maggie. In addition to having their lives spared, our fury little friends will be
whisked away for a fun filled all expense paid vacation to Disney Land, where they will meet the
big cheese himself. You guessed it… Mickey Mouse.
182. Carol: You guys. So does this mean we are going to Disney Land too.
183. Ben: Yeah.
184. M&J: No!
185. Jason: It's getting late. I wonder where Mike is?
186. Maggie: You check the libraries. I'll check the museums.
187. Jason: Why is he making such a federal case out of this? You know he didn't speak to me
last night and give me cold shoulder this morning. Now he's two hours late.
188. Maggie: Jason, Jason, Jason, I find that at times like these it's good to keep a little
perspective on things. Honey, I'm sure he's over it by now. On the other hand, I'm no
psychiatrist. Do excuse me, I have to go to tuck in the mice.
189. Jason: You did get your mother's nose!. Ok, sorry, dumb joke.
190. Mike: No, no. You laugh right, Dad.
191. Jason: Hey, Mike. I am sorry, ok? I know you feel I embarrassed you. So I am sorry.
192. Mike: Dad, sure. Great, Dad.
193. Jason: Mike, I'm apologizing. Don't you think we should get this out in the open?
194. Mike: What, you mean like on national television?
195. Jason: You know I paid a lot of money for those tickets and that was so you could go to
the concert. I think you're being a little self-absorbed about this.
196. Mike: I'm being self-absorbed? Dad. You gave me noogies on the Evening News.
197. Jason: Well some people's parents' lock them in a closet for seven years. You got it real
rough. Your father likes you. Yeah, grosse. quooties. I was showing my feelings for you, Mike.
198. Mike: You have feelings for Mom too. You don't go showing them infront of the whole
tri-state area. Dad, you just don't know I mean the guys in school.
199. Jason: Come on, Mike. What do you care what those guys say.
200. Mike: It is easy for you to say. You just don't know what's it like. I mean they laughed at
me cause I went with you. But I defended you. I said my dad's a cool guy. And then what do
you do? You slobbered all over me on the News Line New York.
201. Jason: Alright, ok. Mike, I am sorry. Maybe we shouldn't have gone to the concert
202. Mike: It's not what I am saying.
203. Jason: Maybe you should've taken a girl.
204. Mike: Dad, you're not listening to me. Look, I'm taking a big risk by telling you this, but I
actually like doing stuff with you. I do, I mean. I was sitting there and watching Springsteen
with my Dad, and a lot of other people's parents don't even know what Springsteen is. And all
through the concert I was thinking. Hey, you know this is really great, yeah.
205. Jason: Well, you know I was thinking pretty much the same thing.
206. Mike: Maybe that the way we can both think that, without letting the entire free world, in
207. Jason: Well, I guess I did lose control a little? Ok, a lot.
208. Mike: That's all right, Dad. I guess Bruce does have that affect on people. I guess maybe
next time we should see someone a little less dynamic.
209. Jason: Well I hear the Osmonds are coming to town.
210. Mike: Yeah, I love this guy.
211. Mike: Guys I'm telling you it does not compare with seeing him live
212. Jason: Mike, Mike, your mother and I are in the next room we're trying to read. You guys
think you could turn down that… Turn down, whatever that is?